A Very Grateful Farewell.

Samuel Raymond Christian School

                Over the course of my 24 years on this planet, I have said many, many "good byes." Each time was difficult for its own reasons, whether healthy or challenging it was always emotional. This time was no different. It was about 3 months out that I began to feel the emotional weight this transition would bring, but I knew it was too soon to be dwelling on the hard emotions I would have to face. Fast forward to maybe a month or so before my departure date I knew I had to start planning my "lasts" of everything. So I scheduled time to spend with my adult students, picked a Sunday to spend all afternoon at the beach with the kids, and made sure everyone knew when my 'last' church service, class, etc. was. In this whole process I realized that fear, apprehensions and anything else that keeps me from taking initiative like this just vanished. It no longer mattered. My mom confirmed that when your focus is on investing every last ounce of your love and appreciation into the people around you, fear takes a spot on the back-burner. This realization annoyed me a little, simply because now I want to figure out how to give fear a permanent back-burner, and instead make loving people around me and spending time with them a central focus. But for now that's beside the point. So while I was making every possible effort to spend time with the people who have made this year an experience of a lifetime, I was also trying to reflect on the things I learned, and how this year has challenged the way I teach, relate to, and most importantly love others. Since I started this journey out wanting to learn what it means to love with no borders, I thought I would give some bullet-points (because this German still likes lists and structure😅) on what I have learned:

When love knows no borders....

1. ...you ask to learn about random names of fish.
   Now this may be confusing, but after our kids had a field trip to a "Marine Life Class" at a resort, I asked some of the island kids if they learned anything new. Their response surprised me, when they said: "Well, we already know about all these fish, but we have different names for them..." and they begun to tell me about a few. In this moment I learned that when our different cultures set us apart, it is important to intentionally give others as many chances as you can to educate you on their culture. If you pay close attention, people love to reveal themselves to you by revealing the beauty of their culture and home. I love telling silly stories from my time growing up in Germany, and people understand me better when they really hear about the world I grew up in. So sometimes to break down those borders, you need to choose to ask about names of some fish!
2. ...you allow others to cross certain personal boundaries (by example of touchy-ness).

   

   Janelly

   
   When I left OKC, people who spent time with me were well aware that I was not a touchy person. Don't get me wrong, I love hugs, but I'm just hyper-aware when there is another person putting their hand on my shoulder for attention or something else as innocent as that. My first few months on Roatan, I made the effort to try and set boundaries with the kids that unless you desperately need a hug, there are limits I have on how touchy you can be with my hair, skin etc. Well... when little Miss Janelly (12) kept giving me hugs when I was in the middle of something, and I would not always respond with utter enthusiasm, I had to tell her: "Where I lived people don't give hugs as often, so my culture is just different that way." Her very matter of fact response was: "Well Miss Julia, here we like to give hugs, and that's just how our culture is." To which all I could say was: "...I guess that is a fair point!" While I am still hyper-aware when someone taps me on the shoulder, or there is someone within very close proximity, it does not disturb me as much anymore. I can easily say that my personal space bubble was been compressed down quite a bit, and as a result I am more touchy than I was before. I definitely still had moments when I had to ask kids to not just grab my earlobe to look at my earring, or to maybe not leave a hand on my neck to get my attention, and I realize that this example should be adaptable from person to person based on needs and experiences. But I learned for myself, that if certain personal boundaries are adjustable to accommodate and understand others, this will allow me to break down a 'border' that defines "This is you and this is me, and I need you to adjust to me, but I'm not going to consider or try to adjust to you."
3. ...you choose patience over frustration, and just breathe!
   There were many times when I had to remind myself that differences are just differences. I am not superior in my ways just because of where I come from. And from the perspective of others, my way of doing things can be quite dumb sometimes. One particular moment I realized this, was when worry about future things was making me tense and frustrated. Over, and over again, because people just could easily see my stress, they would come tell me: "Miss Julia, just relax. Everything will work itself out." Which is all fine and good unless you can't relax because the way you were shaped by your culture and societies made you like plans, and a life of structure, and the security of knowing what will happen next...and when you don't ...it's just stressful!! So after the 12234532th person (that number may or may not be exaggerated) came and told me I needed to 'just relax'... all I wanted to do was shout:"TELLINGMETORELAXDOESNOTMAKEMERELAX!!!!! Because let's face it: the problem solver in me likes to go overboard sometimes! :) But since I knew that they were telling me this out of love for my emotional well-being, I just had to learn to breeaatheee.....
4. ...you find and elevate the good qualities of this culture. 
   
   One thing I realized in my experiences of intercultural-friendships is that you always, always, always find things you don't like about a culture. Germans are too uptight, Hondurans are too touchy, Rwandans are too loud...on and on you could go. Particularly when you start to desire to be around familiar things rather than unfamiliar. The less pretty side of the unfamiliar just seems to jump out at you! My favorite thing about culture is the unique make up of each different group of people. If all you are paying attention to in a different culture is how something they do is bad, or 'wrong' ...then challenge yourself to find the beautiful things and elevate them above those you consider negative. Yes, Honduran children were very touchy for my standard but I chose to elevate and focus on the fact that they could make me feel loved and appreciated every minute of every day. The islanders in our neighborhood were quite loud often times, but because you could always hear someone, somewhere, I never felt alone. It is important to set your boundaries of what you can and cannot tolerate in your personal comfort zone, but ask yourself if your comfort zone can be readjusted to appreciate some more beauty.
5. ....you treat them like new found friends from within your own culture.

   

   The view from our porch!

   When I did my exchange year in the US in 2010, I remember the other foreign exchange students getting asked questions that were so absurd to us. One fun one in particular, asked of my German friend, was if we had running water, and I was asked if we had nutella...to which my response was:"Where do you think the US got it from?!" This is always a challenge when you are getting to know a different culture because you want to know what is different, but sometimes it's hard to know how different our lives really are, and this causes people to act as if they are asking questions from their side of a barrier. In my experience you learn a lot more, a lot quicker when you just treat someone who is different as one of your own. My first time playing baseball with the kids, I decided Birkenstocks were not quality running shoes, so I played barefoot. While this sight was apparently a surprise to them, their older siblings who did not attend our school saw me and said: "Wow, you a real island lady now!" That action of including me into their culture, even though I was so different, broke down a

   

   My fellow teachers:
   (f.l.) Lorissa, Alejandra, Me, Esther, and Juan

   border to where we could be real friends without worrying about our differences.
6. ...you confront your pride, which causes you to think you are more/ have more than someone else. This sounds a little harsh, because nobody would ever think that you consider yourself 'more' than someone else.  I had to learn the hard way that my education, or upbringing, or background does not make my opinions 'superior' to those of others. When I think that my stance is more right than what they think because of my worldview and my experiences, I will eventually try and justify my questionable actions by this. If I justify what I do because "that's just my culture, and its who I am.", then I lack consideration of their perception. I lack the understanding of what I do, and how I view myself, affects how others perceive my motives, values and those of other people like me. Ultimately, it is the opposite of what God calls us to do. Facing this kind of pride is painful and very humbling, but ultimately it's good and you begin to see those around you, who might be different, in an entirely new way.

This only scratches the surface of the things I have learned this past year, working with Miss

Deborah. Even already having been in Oklahoma for 2 weeks I can't believe how much I miss these kids and friends that I have made over the last year. A big chunk of my heart stayed with them there on that small island and I pray God will take me back someday soon! I will miss the value of community, I will miss walking out of our house into the neighborhood and immediately being greeted by anyone and everyone. I will miss the hot weather! (already do..I'M SO COLD!!) I will miss the good hearts of the people I worked with, and lived around. I will miss all of the sassy energy that each kid has exploding out of them; the fun personality and deep love. I will miss watching them all grow and mature into amazing young people, who love God and love their home. This island, mission and community is a very special place, and it has grown a very deep root into my heart.

I'd like to make sure I say thank you to all of you, who have believed in me, supported me (any way), and prayed for me. I have had a year that set me on a good path with God, and I could not have done that without you! From the bottom of my heart: Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou!!!!

It's not goodbye though, it's see you soon. 

loving without borders,

Jules